Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
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