After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
