You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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