I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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