Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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