me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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