i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
