We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
