Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize