please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
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