nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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