vagina is talking i cant
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
