Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Randomize
