great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
