Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I bet he comes in French.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
