ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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