I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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