You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
