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I CAN MOONWALK!
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
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