sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂