So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
