He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs