People with herpes should wear stickers.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
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I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
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My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something