know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.