i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
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If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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