I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize