I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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