Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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