Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
