Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
