You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
