ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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