when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
