How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
