So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
