I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
