Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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