I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
