you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We need a shit load of segways right now
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
