is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
