..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
barbara walters just said penis...
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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