he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
