How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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