left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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