OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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