Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
