Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
