I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
it was like his penis was on wheels.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
