mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
i think i just lost a toe
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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