Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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