I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
