She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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