Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
