i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He did a backflip because drugs
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