if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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