Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
