She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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