Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
