I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
