I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
