so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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