dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
