I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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