I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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