i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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