suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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